Muzings of a Cat Lady

There is something both heartwarming, and sickening, about a dead mouse, left as a gift for you from your cat. Haha. I never thought I could feel so touched by a lifeless rodent, much less one that was occupying my sleeping space. That's right! She waltzed right in through my window and dropped it on my bed.
     Why, you may ask, is my cat coming in through my bedroom window? I live in a family of ten people and, only five of us are not allergic to cats. Its fairly lonely, especially since out of the five of us non allergic types, I happen to be the only true cat lover. Although having a cat to look bored while you poor out your soul to her helps a ton. But she never fails me when I am sad or angry, all she has to do is curl up next to me, and my heart finds peace in the rhythmic sound of her purring and the warmth that pours out from her little body.
     I will never have a friend like Trudy the tortoiseshell cat, she is always there when I need her, and she always forgives me when I am over come with the need for a cuddle and can't wait for her to come to me. lol I feel so blessed every time she brings me a dead mole, or some other small animal. It shows that she is only trying to take care of me, and that she wants me to be healthy and loved. I thank God for my cat every day.

My Brother, The Hero

So,  my brother wrote a poem. He is leaving to live in Portland with our older brother, John, and his wife, Rachel.They are nice enough people, but really big on the "do it yourself" point of view. Not that that is bad, it just means that he's gonna be pretty much on his own, which is more then a little scary. I mean, who wants to be all alone in life?? no one, that's who. But anyway, he is kinda a computer person, which means he isn't always fully in the world, its kinda a disadvantage for him, cause he was not dropped on his bum quit as hard as the rest of us....so the longer he is standing, the further he has to fall. I'm sort of scared for him. I hope that if you read this, you will have the grace to pray for him with all your might.

     This poem shows that he is scared as well, but he wont let that stop him. True bravery comes in the face of the unknown, for where most, if not all, would turn back, he will move forward, knowing in his heart and soul that the Lord has his back, and that is enough for him. I would give much to have such trust, in fact, I pray for it every day.

 As I Set Out 

As I set out in the less traveled way,
all my fears rise up to bar my way.

Showing me the worst that could be,
blotting out my hope to be set free.

But truth shines through like the sun,

letting me see what must be done.

I know it won't be an easy task,
or where I will end up at last.
  
But if I don't go,
regret will eat me alive.
For how will I know unless I try?

So, out doubt, out fear, and fantasy too.
What awaits me is more real then you.

For experience will soon reveal,
how the world compares to fairy tails.

A poem by Timothy Buckingham

Intro to: Molly's Muzings

I made this blog to let loose some of my more violent creative musings. I have issues with this, because when it gets to to intense I have a bad habbit of spewing it all over any poor soul who happens to be in front of me at that moment, and it never seems to end well. haha So here I am, spewing it all over this blog page, because odds are that no one will ever read this, and I mean never. So this gives me the freedom to A: practice my spelling,  and B: get all of my words out on paper, or in this case, screen, without anyone judging me. :D I already feel so much better.
      So I have been thinking about confidence lately, mostly because I have such a great lack of it, but also because I feel it is an important part of every persons daily life. The need of it. The lack of it. The mystery of it. We spend so much time searching and longing for confidence, that it escapes us entirely. It is those that are indifferent to it that grasp it with ease and grace, but then...who among us is truly confident in and of themselves?? Not a one.
      The only confidence we know of, comes from the uplifting comments and high opinions of those around us, and those truly close to us. Some do there best not to care what others say or do, and insist that it has no effect on them or how they act. But truly, we all know that there is no way to have confidence without caring or being party to these others feelings and thoughts towards us. Secretly, we hope that they like our clothes, or that hat we decided to wear for the first time, or maybe someone doesn't agree with one or more of your life decisions. What then?? What is there to do but change ourselves to please others?? Nothing else can be done, all you can do is not wear that hat....or change that outlook....or shop at a different store. Just so that we can find ourselves in the positive regard of others. That is not confidence....not true confidence. What, if not this, is true confidence, you ask??
      Truly, it only comes through the approval of God. For only He can give us eternal regard, for he never changes His mind. He never decideds that we are not worth it, or that we aren't cool enough to hang out with Him. He loves us, not in spite of our clothes, or in spite of our political views. But because He chose to, and because he sees us as pure, and without fault, thanks to the Lord Jesus, He will never leave us. And that is what we can have confidence in, not ourselves or others. But in God, and His love for us.